


Love That's Waiting For Me

by LinneaKou



Series: The Metal Heart [2]
Category: Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel 3490, The Avengers (2012), The Avengers - All Fandoms
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Romance, Slap Slap Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-30
Updated: 2012-01-30
Packaged: 2017-10-30 08:33:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/329831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LinneaKou/pseuds/LinneaKou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No one ever told Steve that loving Tony Stark would be so hard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love That's Waiting For Me

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, dedicated the [Metal Heart LJ community](http://girltony.livejournal.com) as well as [Joan](http://with-cherry-on-top.tumblr.com) because she demanded MOAR. Special thanks to Liz for beta-ing for me again, and for helping me figure out the Christmas gift bit.

It had been a while since Steve had liked a girl. And he was rusty.

Normally, the first person he would have gone to was Bucky. But Bucky wasn't there. Bucky would have known what to do.

Steve didn't let himself dwell on that. He instead focused his efforts to the mission at hand: wooing Tony Stark.

She liked him, that much was obvious. Despite the fact that they hadn't gotten off to a good start back when the team was forming, she'd warmed up to him over time.

***

He'd felt bad, of course, when he'd offended her. As Director Fury had explained after she'd stormed out, Tony Stark had been living in her father's shadow for all of her life. But even with the “daddy-issues” that Fury had mentioned, Tony had another hurdle to get over – the fact that she was a woman in a man's world. Everyone had treated her like a princess in the most traditional sense possible, and Steve could understand how frustrating that kind of treatment could be. She had to work three times as hard to be taken as seriously as a man would be, and people couldn't see past her gender to the brilliance that lay just underneath the feminine curve of her chin and the perfect pout of her lips, the sultry half-closed blue eyes, the silky tendrils of hair that snaked across her forehead.

Okay, Tony was a pretty dame. Lady. Woman. And she knew it.

She'd made it clear that she did not appreciate Steve's knee-jerk reaction to her. She did not appreciate what she perceived as womanizing behavior. Steve caught on quickly and backed off. Things seemed to settle for the better. The Avengers came together, and they moved in together, and they managed to get along.

It was something of a surprise to see the arc reactor that first time. Steve had just come home from his daily jog and was just taking off his shoes when Tony had emerged from her basement lab wearing nothing but a grease-covered camisole and yoga pants. She'd been there all night, working on the Iron Man's armor.

Steve looked up and their eyes briefly met before Tony looked away and made straight for the coffeemaker, but not before Steve caught a glimpse of something round and shining nestled just below her collarbone.

“What is that?” he asked, curious.

Tony turned her back to him and started groping for the biggest mug that the house boasted. “What is _what_?” she replied shortly. She continued to fiddle with the coffeemaker and didn't look at him.

“That thing on your chest.”

“My tits?” she challenged in a dry voice.

Steve blushed all the way up to the roots of his hair. “No, the glowing thing.”

“Think of it as a space-age pacemaker.” Full mug of coffee in hand, Tony briskly made for the stairs once more.

“What?” That didn't answer anything, but Tony was already gone.

“JARVIS?” he called, staring after her.

“Yes, Captain Rogers?” the AI answered immediately. Steve definitely liked JARVIS.

Steve kept his eyes on the stairs, as if expecting Tony to rush back up. “What did she mean, 'space-age pacemaker'?”

“That device is a miniaturized arc reactor, powered by vibranium. It powers an electromagnet that prevents shrapnel from entering Miss Stark's heart.”

Steve did a double take. “Shrapnel?!”

“Indeed. Miss Stark sustained the injury while on a trip to Afghanistan.” The AI pulled up the relevant newspaper article on the nearest screen, on the wall right next to the fridge. Steve got up to read the article over. He didn't know whether to be shocked or impressed. He decided to go with impressed. Tony Stark had revolutionized energy generation while being held captive in a cave. The article didn't go into detail about how she'd managed to escape, though.

Steve wondered if he had clearance to access SHIELD's database. He wanted to look up the woman behind the Iron Avenger.

***

After a shower and two hours of research that went nowhere, Steve gave up. He didn't have the clearance needed to access Tony Stark's personal history. It was vexing. Sure, Tony deserved her privacy, but something was niggling him about the whole thing.

Tony was very protective of Iron Man's true identity. She said he was her bodyguard who had volunteered to take on the duty of being a superhero. She was merely the woman behind the suit. According to her own statements, her fragile health made it a bad idea for her to operate the armor herself. Iron Man had never revealed his true name or face, she said, because he had a life outside of Stark Industries and being an Avenger, and he did not want to compromise it.

Steve could accept that. But something still did not ring true to him.

Tony was obviously very proud of the armor. She talked about it as if it were her child. She was the only one allowed to work on it, to handle it, to repair it, to upgrade it.

Steve wondered if that would be enough of a reason for her to wear it herself.

Of course, it made some sense. Of course Tony Stark wouldn’t want her identity revealed as the operator of a powerful suit of armor. Her critics would tear her apart. Even though this time was a bit more equal regarding women’s rights and gender roles, Tony would be criticized for taking the situation into her own hands. As sad as that was, it was society’s most probable reaction.

And that didn’t even cover the kind of danger that she’d put her loved ones in. Maybe Tony didn’t have much in the way of family, but she still cared very deeply for Miss Potts and Happy Hogan, and seemed to be as close to Lt. Colonel Rhodes as Steve had been to Bucky. Tony may be proud and something of a harpy to those she didn’t care for, but she _did_ have a heart.

Steve decided that if Tony _was_ Iron Man, he wasn’t going to bother her about it. It was her own business, and he already knew she’d take it the wrong way if he asked her about it.

Besides, if she really was Iron Man, she did a damn good job of it. Steve had a feeling that no one knew that armor better than Tony Stark. Who better to wear it?

***

Steve had resolutely refused to get a cell phone for a long, long time after he woke up. Everyone seemed to be absorbed by theirs, and rarely talked to each other anymore. No one did the personal interaction thing. It was disconcerting. But after a few miscommunications that hinged largely on the fact that he himself did not have a cell phone, Steve resigned himself to it. He went to Coulson first, and Coulson suggested he ask Tony about it. Tony could certainly recommend a phone that wouldn’t be too difficult for Steve to learn to use.

Steve was a bit wary about doing so, but was pleasantly surprised when Tony not only agreed to help, but actually volunteered to _build_ him a phone from scratch. He decided then and there to try and repair any damage in their relationship that he might have caused.

He’d never forget the look on her face. It was unreadable, but beautiful. So beautiful that he felt his fingers itch to pick up a pencil and sketch, for the first time in a very long time. He left the lab quickly and went off in search of a spare notebook and pencil and sketched well into the afternoon.

***

“What’re you doodling now, Cap?”

Steve looked up from his paper and met Tony’s smirk. He smiled back at her. “Just… sketching stuff.”

“You wanna be more specific?” She was munching on the sandwich he’d brought down for her. Steve had quickly figured out what kind of sandwiches Tony would eat. Heavy on the meat, easy on the greens. He’d never met a woman with a more voracious appetite.

“Well, I think I tend to draw everyone in the house.” Steve hoped she hadn’t gone through his notebook while he was away. He’d be mortified if he had to explain why so many sketches of Tony were in there.

“You ever draw me?” She quirked her head to the side.

Steve managed to give her a casual smile. “Of course, you live in this house.”

Tony laughed. “I _own_ this house, Cap. Don’t you forget it.” She took a swig of that vile green chlorophyll drink.

Steve chuckled and went back to his drawing.

“So who’s this one of?”

“Natasha,” he answered truthfully.

Tony didn’t speak for a moment. Then: “You making her sexy?”

Why did she sound like that? Like she was fighting the urge to cry.

Steve looked up at her. Tony’s face was clear and she didn’t look like she was unhappy, but Steve couldn’t quite place what was off about her expression.

“It’s just her face. She got a haircut, and I wanted to capture that.”

Tony blinked and seemed to relax in a split second. “Huh. Didn’t think you were so sentimental, Cap.”

Steve made a face. “Tony Stark, you clearly don’t know me that well.”

She laughed again, and it was the most beautiful, musical sound in the world.

***

The downside to being an Avenger was the fact that barely a week would pass before some supervillain got it into their heads that today was the day they’d succeed in taking over the world. So Steve and his teammates were called out to downtown Manhattan to take care of some guy who called himself Doctor Doom. Iron Man reported after a moment’s research that the man’s real name was Victor Von Doom, and he was the ruler of a small European nation called Latveria.

“And this guy is attacking us _why_?” Clint demanded after releasing a volley of exploding arrows on Doom’s army of robots.

“He’s got a few screws loose,” Iron Man answered dryly. “Clearly the making of a great world leader.”

“On your six, Widow!” Steve barked into the comm. He took out even more of those damned bots with a swipe of his shield and swore under his breath. “How many of these things does he have?”

“There’s an end in sight, guys.” Iron Man fired off both repulsors and managed to flatten a good few dozen. “Doom can’t keep this up forever.”

“Verily, my metal friend!” Mjölnir whizzed past to Steve’s left and managed to bowl down at least eight robots before returning, boomerang-like, to Thor’s hand. “Even now I can see that the herd is thinning.”

“Good to hear, Thor.” Steve was really getting sick of all these bots.

Apparently, so was the Hulk. A car alarm went off to their right and Steve turned just in time to see the Hulk pick up a minivan and slam it down on a small crowd of them, roaring in annoyance.

Steve felt his lips quirk in a small smile at the sight. “Good work, Hulk!” he called.

“Hulk smash!” was all he got in reply.

Steve shook his head and a flash of green caught his eye. “There!” he suddenly shouted. “That’s Doom! Anyone got a visual on him?”

“Hold on a sec, Cap. Let me make sure real quick—” Iron Man began to say, but Natasha cut in.

“I have a visual. That matches the description of Doctor Doom.”

“All right. Time to end this.” Steve glanced around him and began to barrel through the robot army. He was the closest, and surely Doom would have some sort of remote to switch off the army. “Everyone else, get the civilians to safety. I’m going after Doom.”

“Wait!” Iron Man burst out, but Steve was already plowing through the robots, his eyes zeroed in on the green cloak ahead of him.

He was nearly there, ready to knock the Latverian idiot in the face, when a blur of red and gold rocketed past him and knocked him back. Iron Man took off into the sky with Doom in hand, and got maybe twenty stories up before—

Before the loudest, most terrifying explosion Steve had ever witnessed.

“NO!”

The fake Doom exploded with a wave of pure concussive force, and Iron Man slammed into the nearest building, shattering glass. But the building’s integrity held, and Iron Man plummeted towards the ground, not even trying to stop falling.

Steve was already running, oblivious to the chaos around him. He got there just as the Iron Avenger hit the pavement with a sickening _thunk_ and lay there without moving.

“Oh my God…” Steve fell to his knees and searched for the release on Iron Man’s helmet. Luckily, Steve hadn’t had to flip Iron Man over. Shaking fingers triggered the release, and the helmet lifted away.

Steve wasn’t sure if he was surprised when he found Tony inside the suit. He carefully supported her head and yelled for an ambulance. To his immense relief, she was still breathing.

“Tony, don’t you _dare_ die, you idiot.” He leaned in close, fighting back the lump in his throat. “Please, don’t die.”

***

Tony woke up two hours later. Steve hadn’t left her side, not even to change out of his battlesuit. He’d watched the coverage on the TV in the hospital room. As he’d expected, the world was in an uproar over Iron Man’s true identity. He cursed the fact that so many news helicopters had been in the area, but really, what could they have done?

Still, his overwhelming relief completely washed away any uncharitable feelings he had towards the 21st century press. Even when Tony completely lost her mind at the fact that her secret identity was out.

He managed to calm her down enough so that she would rest a bit more. The doctors had said that the suit had protected her from the brunt of the fall, but they still wanted to be sure. And overnight stay was definitely necessary.

Of course, Tony didn’t like that. But she allowed Steve to push her back down onto the pillows and even managed to joke around with him. She seemed surprised that Steve wasn’t surprised about her being Iron Man, but by that point Steve had reconciled it with everything else he knew about Tony. It fit.

And he liked it. A lot.

***

A week later, Steve came home to the Avengers Mansion to find Tony in her lab once again.

He sighed, rolled his eyes, and contented himself with making sure she got some sleep. And ate. And went upstairs. And took breaks to relieve herself, to Tony’s indignation. But he could tell she appreciated it. He just knew.

As the days went by, Tony rebuilt her armor. It was truly a fascinating process to watch. So much work went into redesigning it to withstand whatever else Doom would throw at them. She recycled the wreckage of her last suit - grumbling about how stupid supervillians couldn’t keep making her rebuild the damn things because, really, she had all the free time, didn’t she? - and she somehow managed to assemble it again. It was like watching a magician.

About five days after Tony came back home from the hospital, Steve returned to the lab bearing her lunch and found Tony looking at his sketchbook.

He was mortified. Surely, she’d find it weird that he drew so many pictures of her!

But she’d looked him in the eye and told him he was talented. He didn’t hear the rest of her babble – it kind of fuzzed out after the first bit.

Something like heat was building up in his midsection. “You really think so?” he asked her.

She nodded.

God, she was wonderful.

***

He was in love with her. There was no other way to put it. Steve had fallen for Tony Stark. She was the brashest, most unconventional and unfeminine woman he’d ever met. And she was perfect. Steve had heard that love made a man blind, and by god he was probably proving that point. Even though she could be – in her own words – a huge bitch, Tony Stark was probably one of the finest women he’d ever met. She reminded him quite a bit of Peggy, he thought with a pang. But in other ways she was nothing like Peggy. She was sometimes too smart for Steve, jabbering on about things that he couldn’t even wrap his mind around. She enjoyed the finer things in life, and she loved drinking and dirty jokes. She kept her hair short and was covered in engine oil and grease. She sometimes blew things up in the basement. She drank more than three times her weight in coffee every day.

Steve couldn’t look away sometimes.

And even for all the bad points that people liked to point out about her, Tony would go and do little things to prove them all dead wrong.

Such as the time when he found that she’d gone out and bought him quality drawing supplies, just on a whim. He actually had to make himself draw in that sketchbook. It was almost painful for him to use one of the pencils, a quality 2H! And it was a gift from her, and he didn’t want to use it up.

What was wrong with him?

He compensated by drawing her. A lot. So much that Clint noticed and pretended to be jealous. The others could see what was happening. It kind of embarrassed him. Kind of.

Not really.

He was at a complete loss of what to do about it. He wanted to court her. To properly romance her. But what if she was like this with all of her friends? What if this wasn’t some sort of special treatment?

Steve worried. He worried and he’d sometimes need to excuse himself to go work out his stress. Tony commented offhandedly that he was destroying a lot more punching bags than usual as of late.

He needed help.

***

Pepper Potts was a formidable woman. She had to be, as Tony Stark’s personal assistant. She practically ran the business for Tony. Steve had a lot of respect for her.

So, on one of her business trips out East, Steve offered to take her out to lunch.

Leaving Tony to work her aggression over the third busted microwave that month out in the lab, Miss Potts led Steve to a quaint little bistro a few miles away from the Mansion.

“So.”

She knew. Steve should have figured.

Steve turned bright red. “So.”

“You need my help, don’t you?” Miss Potts sipped at her water with a knowing smile on her face.

“I might.”

“Well, I’m totally available for advice on anything. I know Tony better than anyone else… well, except for Rhodey, maybe.” She gave Steve a sympathetic smile. “Trust me, it’s not easy to love Tony Stark.”

“Oh, I know it.” Steve groaned, fiddling with his napkin. “It’s just…”

She waited.

“It’s just… we’re from completely different worlds. I mean, how would it even work?”

“Captain.” Miss Potts fixed him with a very understanding look. “I know how you feel. But honestly? It doesn’t matter to Tony. She’s head over heels for you.”

“She- - she is?” Steve couldn’t believe it.

Miss Potts nodded knowingly. “I have it on good authority that she had the biggest crush on you when she was younger.”

Steve wasn’t sure what to make of that.

Miss Potts was watching him carefully.

Steve couldn’t meet her eyes. “Do I live up to her expectations?” he asked, bashfully.

Miss Potts raised her eyebrows and smiled. “You tell me.”

***

Christmas was approaching. Steve decided that he was going to get Tony something.

He had no idea what that would be.

He mulled it over every spare second he had, but he seriously, _seriously_ kept drawing blanks. In desperation, he called Miss Potts. She suggested jewelry.

Steve latched onto that idea and went to Macy’s during one of their big holiday sales. He tried to keep a low profile, but he was sure some of the salespeople recognized him. He left without buying anything.

It wasn’t just the paparazzi that made him leave. He realized right then and there, as he stood at the jewelry counter, that he had no idea what kind of jewelry Tony Stark tended to wear.

He was sort-of-kind-of sulking about that fact when Tony got a surprise visitor. Lt. Colonel Rhodes came down the stairs, and Tony dropped what she was working on – the _fourth_ microwave disaster of the month – and dashed over to give him a hug. It reminded Steve so much of him and Bucky that he had to excuse himself.

He was pouring himself a cup of coffee in the kitchen when Rhodey and Tony emerged from the lab. Tony told Rhodey that she’d be just a second, she wanted to shower real quick so that she didn’t smell so horribly, and she ran off.

Rhodey took a seat at the counter and looked over at Steve. “Captain.” He extended a hand in greeting.

Steve shook his hand. “Colonel.”

“Please, call me Rhodey. Everyone else does.”

Steve smiled. He definitely liked Rhodey already.

“So how are you liking la Casa de Stark?” Rhodey asked good-naturedly. He was looking around. “Man, I haven’t been here in a long time.”

“Oh, there’s never a dull moment around here.” Steve sipped pensively at his coffee.

“I can imagine.” Rhodey’s eyes caught on the empty hole where the microwave oven was supposed to be. “How…?”

“Thor. He keeps breaking them.”

“Ah.” Rhodey didn’t ask anything further.

They heard the shower in Tony’s room start.

Steve suddenly had an idea. “Um… Rhodey…”

The other man looked at him and waited, patiently, as Steve bit his lip and made himself carefully figure out what he wanted to say.

“You’ve known Tony for a while, right?”

Rhodey laughed easily. “Oh, yeah. A long while.”

“I want to get her something special for Christmas. I have no idea what to go with. Miss Potts suggested jewelry.”

Rhodey looked thoughtful. “I’d go with earrings, if I were you.” He gave Steve a knowing smile, and Steve blushed.

“Is it that obvious?”

“Oh, man, it’s written all over your face.” Rhodey grinned to show there were no hard feelings, and Steve gave him a tentative smile back.

The shower shut off five minutes later, and then Tony bounded back into the kitchen wearing fresh new clothes – with a shirt that covered the arc reactor, Steve noticed – and slightly wet hair. She grabbed a set of keys and waved goodbye to Steve, who had been chatting amicably with Rhodey while they’d waited.

“Hey, you want us to bring you something back?” Tony called over her shoulder.

“Chili fries would be nice.”

“Chili fries it is.” Tony disappeared into the basement with Rhodey in tow – the basement also served as a garage.

Steve watched them go and then went back into plotting mode. Earrings. Okay. That he could go on.

Earrings.

***

He was proud of himself. Irrationally proud of himself. He managed to go to Macy’s without turning any heads, and he’d managed to borrow Happy for the mission that he had dubbed “Operation Pick Out Nice Earrings For The Woman Who Has Everything.” Happy had been immensely helpful. He’d talked Steve out of picking out some gaudy diamond-and-pearl monstrosity – Steve had gotten it into his head that Tony wouldn’t take anything less than shiny-enough-to-see-from-space – and eventually they’d found something that was just _perfect_. Simple studs, elegant garnet studs that sparkled in the light and would glitter whenever Tony turned her head. They would shine against her glossy black hair, and Steve knew in his gut that she would like them.

Just to be certain, he had Happy send a picture of them to Miss Potts for a second opinion. Her reply had been immediate: “ _GO FOR IT!!!_ ”

Steve bought them. Happy clapped him on the shoulder. They left with something of a swagger in their walks, because really? It had been quite a taxing mission.

***

Steve smiled every time he saw Tony. He smiled and couldn’t help it. Because every time she turned her head, those earrings sparkled like he’d imagined they would.

***

Everyone thought that Tony was the one to initiate the relationship. Even years later, they would be getting it wrong. Only five people and one AI knew the truth, and they weren’t going to tell anyone.

It was New Years Eve, and instead of throwing some sort of crazy house party and inviting half the city, the Avengers had a nice, tame get-together. Happy and Miss Potts showed up together; Rhodey arrived shortly after ten o’clock; Jane and Darcy had been there since three in the afternoon helping prepare the snacks; Thor’s friends from Asgard dropped in closer to midnight; even Coulson and Fury put in appearances.

The countdown was really something spectacular. Tony had suggested going to see it live, but everyone had shot her down with little hesitation. It was cold out.

Steve had ended up next to her during the countdown. There was, after all, a tradition to uphold.

So when they hit midnight, Steve put a hand on Tony’s shoulder. She turned to face him, garnets gleaming in her hair, and met his eyes.

Everyone thought that Tony kissed Steve first, but really, it was Steve that made the first move.

***

Things didn’t go smoothly from there.

Oh, there were good moments. They went out to dinner a few times. That was nice, even if Steve had to fight his instinct to pay the bill every time. The settled into a compromise. It worked out fine.

Tony kept buying him stuff. She contented herself with not buying him top-quality art supplies and retrofitting an unused room with a fully-equipped art studio, and it made her happy to see how happy she made Steve with the simplest things.

Steve made it a point to leave her little drawings once in a while. He lovingly poured detail into them, making sure to include the little things about her that drove him crazy. She started pinning the scraps to the only wall in her lab that didn’t have interfaces on it, and she smiled every time she looked at it.

Steve received daily encouragement from Miss Potts and Happy and Rhodey. They seemed overjoyed to see Tony in a definite relationship with someone who wasn’t bad for her. Steve was pretty sure Miss Potts was doing the same to Tony, as well. He knew Tony had problems, too. And he appreciated everyone’s effort.

There were times when he wondered if one of Tony’s friends was telling her to slow things down. From what he knew about Tony before the start of the Iron Man saga, Tony hadn’t exactly been discreet about her sex life. And Steve definitely wouldn’t mind getting intimate with her. But the possibility never really came up. At least, not until Valentine’s day.

It was clichéd, it being the most romantic time of year. But Steve had gotten a box of Tony’s favorite chocolates, and she’d jokingly threatened to douse everyone with pheromones to “get the party started,” and one thing led to another and then they were alone in her room and she was feverishly unbuttoning his shirt and he had his hand on her bare stomach, trying to tug her blouse over her head-

When she grabbed his wrist and choked out, “ _No._ ”

Steve froze, confused. He crouched down as low as he could, so he could see her face.

Her eyes were wide, and she seemed paler than usual. Her breath was whistling through dry lips. She had both hands clasped around Steve’s wrist.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, as quietly as he could.

“I… I don’t want to take my shirt off.”

Steve didn’t know what to say to that. So he leaned in and nuzzled her neck. She put her hand in his hair and curled around him, sighing.

One of his hands brushed up against her blouse, and then he remembered what she hid under it.

“Is it because of your pacemaker?” he asked gently. The arc reactor hummed underneath his hand.

Tony froze again. Stiffened.

“It doesn’t bother me.”

“It bothers _me_ ,” she snapped.

“Why?” Steve pressed. He didn’t understand why she was getting so agitated. “It’s beautiful.”

“It’s horrible.”

“It is _not_.” Steve gently pressed a hand to her chin, tilted her face up. “It’s keeping you alive, and therefore it is the best thing in the world.”

Tony’s eyes seemed to glitter, and then she was crying.

Steve jerked back. He’d never seen her cry before.

“I can’t—” Tony pushed him away and stood up. Her knees were shaking. “I can’t do this.”

And she fled.

***

Tony locked Steve out of her lab the next day. She’d been there all night, and JARVIS wouldn’t tell him what she’d been doing. Steve was worried.

Miss Potts told him to let her and Rhodey handle Tony. Steve had pressed her for an explanation, and answer, _anything_ to help explain what had happened that night.

All Miss Potts had said was “Tony’s very… touchy about that arc reactor.”

That wasn’t an answer.

***

Eventually, Steve resigned himself to the fact that he’d blown it. He’d blown it just in time for him to be dateless to some big ball that was being hosted on behalf of the Avengers.

He’d barely seen Tony since Valentine’s Day, and the most interaction they’d had had been on the battlefield. Even then their conversations had been stilted.

Steve didn’t like that. He missed Tony. A lot.

But Miss Potts had advised him to keep his distance and let Tony work through whatever she was going through. So Steve had hung back, even if it was killing him.

But this? This was the worst. The others kept shooting him pitying looks as they got all dressed up. He’d refused to wear a tux, and instead opted to wear his old army dress uniform. Everyone agreed it was a little bit more impressive, and who cared if it wasn’t formal enough?

Happy drove the limo that carried them to the Avengers ball. Tony did not come with them. It was probably better if she stayed at home. No one really could figure out what was going on with her. Even Miss Potts and Rhodey had had trouble getting through to her.

Steve was a basket case the whole ride there. This didn’t feel right. He wished Tony was with them.

Their arrival was heralded by the flashing of cameras and the chatter of the press. They couldn’t get through the crowd fast enough. Natasha kept getting this strange look on her face, like she was fighting the urge to whip out some hidden weapon (how could she have hidden weapons with a dress that revealing? But Steve wouldn’t put it past her) and Clint was just generally ill-at-ease in his tux. He kept muttering about looking like a penguin. Thor, on the other hand, seemed to enjoy the attention a bit. He shook hands and clapped people on the shoulder so hard, Steve wasn’t surprised he didn’t hear bones crack. Bruce tried to make himself as small and unnoticeable as possible. Steve just plastered his patented “USO Captain America” smile on his face and told himself to grin and bear it.

He’d probably have an easier time with Tony at his side.

The ball itself was a thoroughly boring affair. Politicians and their spouses, city officials, celebrities, and other supposedly important people crowded around him. They chattered inanely about things he didn’t understand, much less care about. One or two female pop stars tried to convince him to sneak off with her. His face was starting to hurt from having to smile so much. It was so uncomfortable.

A singer who couldn’t be older than sixteen was trying to convince him she was legal when a familiar voice cut across hers. “In a couple years, maybe. Run back to your mommy and daddy, sweetheart. The Captain’s all mine.”

The girl’s eyes widened and she scurried away, and Steve turned around, his heart lifting. He had never been so ridiculously happy in his life. And when he saw Tony, as he knew he would, his jaw dropped.

Tony smiled and tilted her head. “What? Do I clean up nicely?”

Steve’s eyes ran hungrily over her form. She did indeed clean up nice. She’d had something done to her hair to make it seem straighter and silkier than usual. Her usually oil-stained face was actually made up, complete with dark red lipstick and shimmering plum eyeshadow. But most eye-catching and jaw-dropping of all was the strapless dress that she’s wrapped in. It was a dark shimmery fabric that accentuated her curves and lithe muscle, baring her shoulders and showing an impressive amount of cleavage. And the arc reactor.

People were openly staring at it. Some of them probably thought it was some kind of necklace, but it was not.

Steve had figured out very early on that Tony didn’t like people seeing that thing. He’d at first thought it was part of the masquerade, to keep Iron Man and Tony Stark separate. He’d realized since that disastrous Valentine’s Day that Tony was _ashamed_ of it. And it killed him to think that.

“May I have this dance, Captain?” Tony reclaimed his attention with a flirty smile.

“I… I can’t dance,” Steve blustered lamely.

“Don’t worry. I’ll lead.”  Of course she would.

The song playing was slow enough so that Steve can suddenly realize just how awkward he was. It was like his hands and feet were three sizes too big. He was actually nervous.

Tony guided his hands to her waist and put her palms on his shoulders. “Just sway to the music and don’t think too hard about it.”

Steve swallowed and nodded.

They danced. Tony managed to make it look halfway decent, and Steve started to enjoy it. It felt like something from a Disney movie.

Tony was smiling at him, and it was a real smile. Not a fake “I’m doing this for the press” smile. A real one.

Steve felt lighter than he has in a long time.

“You know, I don’t think anyone’s seen me like this in a little over two years,” Tony suddenly commented.

Steve blinked. “Like how?” he asked.

“You know. Boobs bared.” Tony flicked her eyes down to her chest. And the arc reactor.

Steve looked away.

“What? Not a tit man?” Tony waggled her eyebrows. “Could’ve fooled me, the way you were trying to get my shirt off the other night.”

“I’m sorry about that.”

“No, it’s okay.” She took a deep breath. “I didn’t tell you everything, and I shouldn’t expect you to know everything.”

Steve was suddenly acutely aware of how many people were around them. Tony seemed to be thinking the same thing. “Let’s go outside,” she suggested. She took him by the hand and led him away from the ball, the noise, the people. “Happy’s waiting by the limo.”

“There will probably be paparazzi out there,” Steve pointed out.

Tony wrinkled her nose. “Oh, yeah. You’re right.” She changed direction and dragged him in a different direction.

Steve found himself facing a huge set of French doors, and Tony was picking the lock with a hairpin that she’d managed to wriggle out of God knew where. She managed to get the door open and beckoned Steve to follow. He gladly did.

It was a balcony overlooking the gardens. The sudden rush of crisp night air woke Steve up. He blinked and inhaled deeply.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Tony threaded her arm through Steve’s. “People think I don’t appreciate flowers or anything, but I can recognize beauty when I see it.”

“Same here,” Steve murmured, but his eyes are on the arc reactor.

Tony sighed. “I don’t really like it.”

“I understand.”

“Steve.” Her tone made Steve look her in the eye. She was unguarded. His mouth ran dry.

She held his gaze like that for a few minutes, then squeezed his arm. “It’s a daily reminder of how fragile I am, Steve.” Her voice is steady, but Steve had never heard a more heartbreaking sound. “It’s a reminder of how close I was to death… of how close I _am_ to death. Every day.”

“How? If it’s keeping you alive… I know you have to replace it or recharge it—”

Tony sighed again and shook her head. “Does the name Obadiah Stane mean anything to you? No, of course it doesn’t, that was two years ago. Obadiah Stane was my dad’s business partner in the seventies. He was like a surrogate dad to me, because my dad never paid me any attention.”

That hurt to hear. Howard had always seemed like a great guy. But Steve didn’t say anything. He let Tony keep talking.

“Obie was my mentor. After my parents died, he took over the company, kept it warm for me. And when I turned twenty-one, I took over. People didn’t like that. People didn’t agree with it. But Obie supported me. Or so I thought.” Tony was looking out over the gardens again. She seemed lost in a memory. “And then I went to Afghanistan.”

Steven put his free hand on her arm. She didn’t need to tell him about it.

“Obie ordered it.”

Well, that was new. Steve didn’t know what to do. What to think. He froze with his mouth open, but Tony went on.

“Obie ordered the hit on me. He wanted the company back. He was double-dealing under the table, selling weapons to the Ten Rings and other terrorist agencies. And I… I was a means to an end. I was the goose that lay the golden eggs,” she said wryly.

Steve felt an uncoiled anger at this man that he had never heard of before that moment.

“Once I created the Jericho missile, Obie figured I was at my peak. He figured he’d best cut me loose. So when I went to Afghanistan, he told the Ten Rings to take care of me. But they figured out that it was _me_ they were being paid to kill. So they kidnapped me. Forced me to live. Forced a wonderful, genius man to save my life and keep me alive. Ho Yinsen,” she added, and her voice seemed to tremble. “And we built the Iron Man Mk. I suit. I used it to escape. Yinsen died.”

Steve remembered Tony leaving town to present a Ho Yinsen Memorial scholarship in mid-December. He listened to her as she went on.

“So I escaped. Came back home. Obie was so happy to see me, I thought.” Her words turned bitter. “I made the Mk. II and III suits. And I used them to take care of the Ten Rings in Afghanistan.”

Steve didn’t need to hear about that, either.

“And Obie decided that he wanted a nifty suit like mine. He decided to copy my original one. But the problem was, he couldn’t figure out how to copy the arc reactor. The big one was right there, but he couldn’t downsize it. None of his pet scientists could. So…” Tony gulped and took a deep breath and steeled herself. “So he took mine.”

Steve’s hands went cold. He stared at Tony. She didn’t go on, so Steve managed to cough. “He… what?”

“You know this is basically…”

“…a space-age pacemaker?” Steve supplied.

Tony smiled wryly. “Yeah.” She took a deep, shuddering breath. “I made a second one once I got home. It was stronger, longer-lasting. Better built. Better suited to power the Mk. III armor. Better suited to keeping me alive.” Her mouth twisted unpleasantly. “And then Obie took it. And left me for dead.”

Steve felt his hands clench into fists.

“I’m lucky Pepper left the original one there. I wouldn’t have survived.” Tony tilted her head until it rested on Steve’s arm. She tightened her grip on his arm. “I killed Obie,” she said quietly. “I had to. He was…” She trailed off. She couldn’t finish.

Steve gathered her into his arms and she collapsed into his chest, breathing hard. He rocked her slowly. “You don’t have to tell me any more,” he whispered in his ear.

“You’re right,” she looked up at him. “You’re right about it.”

Steve smiled at her. “Am I?”

“Yeah. It keeps me alive. If I weren’t alive…” Tony bit her lip. “If I weren’t alive, I wouldn’t be able to be here with you.”

Steve leaned down until their noses were touching. “That ‘pacemaker’ of yours isn’t a reminder of how fragile you are, Tony. It’s a daily reminder of how strong you are. Don’t forget that, please.”

Tony smiled and went up onto tiptoe. “I’ll try,” she breathed, and she kissed him.

***

The next day, it was all over the newspapers. Some lucky _Daily Bugle_ photographer who had to have been some sort of ninja managed to get the perfect shot of their kiss.

For once, Steve didn’t mind. And that newspaper cutout went up on that wall in Tony’s lab, and she still smiled at it every time she looked at it.

**Author's Note:**

> The theme song for this story is [_There will be love there_ by the brilliant green](http://linneakou.tumblr.com/post/15362863034/the-brilliant-green-there-will-be-love-there-ai) (J-pop)


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